scared to press publish.

the truth is – i’m scared to press publish.

there are 41 started, but not completed drafts sitting in the back end of my site.

so why am i so scared to share?

fear of failure.  not good enough.  rejection.  the snickering, the laughter.  incompleteness.
the inevitability that i very well might piss people off.  and sometimes – it’ll be the ones closest to me.

all of the above.  sometimes i think it’d be easier to write and post under a ghost writer name.
behind a mask.  steer clear of any direct criticism – silently taking in the feedback.

but,
imperfections are perfect.

sometimes it’s easy to forget that.
to lose track.  lose site of what is just down the road, around the bend.
the why of it all.  your purpose.  your direction.
who is this all really for?  what am i doing?  how do i let this – all this, out?
and all the while, somehow come out successful.

i read this post by megan gilger of the fresh exchange.  her posts are honest, and this one sent me that gentle nudge i was needing.
i get to define what success is for me.

my day job has been keeping me engaged and completely busy, but sadly that then means this here blog has gotten a little neglected.  thanks to my family, and my mother (who will be happy to see a post – she’s been bugging me for one for quite sometime, politely of course), and to the friends who ride the waves with me.  if only i could express my deepest love for each and every one of you to the fullest.  your wisdom, support, laughter and love is an endless sea.  thank you.

i may not post 3 times a week.  or even a month.
but hey – i get to define what success is for me.
and me, well, i’m currently on a journey.

thank you, dear readers, for sticking around – wherever you are.